This semester, I am teaching a first-year Signature Course for Plan II students at UT. The course is titled “Adolescence: Body, Brain, Self, and Society.” Below, I have begun listing what we are reading for class, and a selection of the students’ discussion board posts in response to the readings.
Class #21: Adolescent Motherhood
What we read:
Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage, by Kathryn Edin & Maria Kefalas
What students said:
“My preconceptions of teenage pregnancy were completely shattered. I’ve mostly been surrounded by middle class and up peers my entire life, and any time the topic of teenage pregnancy came up, there was a ton of stigma that surrounded it. Getting pregnant while still in school was unfathomable because then the person would not be able to finish school, and their parents would also be furious. ..Reading about so many people wanting to have kids, as a symbol of endearment or as a way to keep on going in life, has never been a way that I’ve viewed teenage pregnancy. There are totally different values in those communities, where education isn’t as important, and the dynamics of relationships are much different. These are people who actually want to be pregnant and have a baby at a young age. As ignorant as it sounds, I always thought that lower income populations have higher pregnancy rates solely because they were not as educated about contraceptives, but clearly, there are other factors in play.”
“One of the most fascinating passages to me was when the author stated, “To most middle-class observers, depending on their philosophical take on things, a poor woman with children but no husband, diploma or job is either a victim of her circumstances or undeniable proof that American society is coming apart at the seams, but in the social world inhabited by poor women, a baby born into such conditions represents an opportunity to prove one’s worth.” I had not thought about this side of teenage pregnancy, especially as connected to low-income mothers. I also found it particularly fascinating how marriage was equated to a luxury, while motherhood was a necessity and central to one’s identity.”
“A part of the book that stood out to me was when it painted having a child, from a lower-class perspective, in a vibrant tone against a “dismal” or monotone background. And for some, it’s viewed as an escape. I don’t know how if having children so young due to the fact that college is not a realistic or any sort of “better life” is foreseeable is a good thing and it’s something I have trouble fathoming.”
“I can’t count the number of times friends and I gossiped about people from our elementary schools who are pregnant now. Even the hashtag #beatteenagepregnancy has shown up on social media countless times when friends of mine turn 20. Looking down on teenage pregnancy has become so normalized. To think that some people wish for a child at such a young age is something that would have never crossed my mind if I hadn’t read this. Like Billy, I viewed teenage pregnancy as a mistake – something that rooted from having a poor education, but some people see warmth in having a child. This actually makes sense. Of course, some people actually want to have a child at that age – that should be pretty normal.”
Class #20: Love and Sex
What we read:
Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex, by Amy Schalet
What students said:
“I really wish my dad would have actually talked to me about girls and sex. The “don’t ask don’t tell” mentality in our household meant if I was having sex, it would be something my parents would have been completely detached from, something I would have been trying to keep hidden, meaning they would get no say and I would receive no guidance. Herein lies the great disadvantage of the American approach to adolescent sex: detachment or even shame from adults.”
“As in the two previous responses, the boys appreciated the Dutch approach, but I am very thankful I did not grow up in this culture. Maybe that is because the phenomenon of teenagers’ sexual openness with their parents seems so foreign to me that I cannot fathom it or wrap my mind around it.”
“My parents would have stared at me in disbelief and shock if I had ever requested to have a sleepover with the opposite gender in high school. Forget high school, my parents would not expect me to ask that until I was out of medical school. Having both grown up with a conservative Indian background, my parents are very strict when it comes to interactions with the opposite gender. Their marriage was arranged, a pretty common practice in India. My parents opposed my learning of what sex was in 7th grade health class; I distinctly remember my mom telling me not to listen to any of it. I was never allowed to date and still am not. When I told my mom about my current boyfriend, she responded with “having feelings is fine but don’t hold his hand or anything because that is not our culture.” Having a sleepover with the opposite gender was out of the picture.”
“I’m kind of relieved or glad that sex wasn’t part of an open discussion in my house because it’s not something that I can fathom being integrated to a point of normalcy. Being in a romantic relationship with someone, physically, from small things to holding hands to having sex isn’t something that I’m comfortable with myself so I’m unsure how I would be able to address these issues with my parents. I never had “the talk” with my parents but I’m kind of relieved I never had to because I just think that is strange in a sense, to be so open with your parents regarding sex, because to me that is something very intimate and personal.”
“To say that my parents attempted to enforce strong sexual boundaries in my house would be an understatement. While they were very open about discussing sexuality (they bought me all the American Girl books they could get their hands on and would even read them to me at night) they were never truly open to the idea of me, their only baby girl, actually engaging in sexual activity. As the rebellious child I am, I decided to sexually liberate myself… When I told them I was ready to start the pill, my mom didn’t hesitate to schedule a Gyno appointment. She told me I was better “safe than sorry” and she was “glad I came to her” which I appreciate more than I can express. Because she was open to the possibility of me becoming sexually active, and not so opposed to the idea that she forced abstinence on me, I was able to have a constructive (and uncomfortable) conversation with her that led to safer activities. My mother and I have never talked openly about sexual topics other than the generic cookie cutter questions, it just never felt comfortable. I can talk to my best friends mom about her sex life, and anything related to sex without blinking an eye, but somehow I still feel like I’m letting my mother down by exploring any facet of sexuality.”
Class #14: Social Media
What we read:
- Fournier, M.A. (2009). Adolescent hierarchy formation and the social competition theory of depression.Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 28, 1144-1172.
- Allen, J. P., & Loeb, E. L. (2015). The autonomy‐connection challenge in adolescent–peer relationships. Child Development Perspectives, 9(2), 101-105.
- Wood, M. A., Bukowski, W. M., & Lis, E. (2016). The digital self: how social media serves as a setting that shapes youth’s emotional experiences.Adolescent Research Review, 1, 163-173.
- American Girls: Social media and the secret lives of teenagers. (Chapters 1 [“13”] and 3 [“15”])
Links they shared with me:
A Teenager’s View of Social Media: Written by an actual teen
Where Weird Facebook is King: How a college kid does social
What students had to say:
“If I have an interaction with you, I don’t want to it be merely a digital shadow of what it could be. I want every interaction I have, every relationship I form, to be face-to-face, with the fullness and complexity every human deserves, even at the cost of convenience.”
“Honestly, I am embarrassingly addicted to social media. From creating a Facebook without telling my parents in 5th grade, to posting updates on my Snapchat story every day, my phone has never left my hand. I truly believe that social media has taken over most my teen life, and it is perfectly justified.”
“I used to believe that social media sort of made us build ingenuine relationships, but I think as a society, we are starting to realize that ingenuine relationships are simply a product of how one uses social media, not that social media inherently develops fake relationships.”
“I mainly use forms of social media to keep in (almost constant) contact with my very closest friends throughout the day. Rather than posting, we are snapping, tagging each other in memes, and texting and Facebook messaging simultaneously.”
“My social media downward spiral began once I turned 13—the age my mother let me get a Facebook. Throughout the years, my social media spectrum broadened to Instagram, snapchat, and twitter, just to name a few. It allowed me to see what people were doing no matter how many miles away they were and it keyed me into people’s thoughts, people who I knew would never express those thoughts to me in person. My awareness of others’ actions and interactions grew exponentially. Thus, my platform to compare myself to others simultaneously grew. Were the pictures I posted as cute as other girls’ posts? Why did I not get as many likes as other people? Unconsciously, my self-esteem and confidence fluctuated alongside the attention I received on social media.”
“When we post something publicly, there is something about us that we want to display: our beauty, our things, our vacations, our friends, our super-hot significant others, etc. We like getting stalked, and we like it when people are jealous of us (even if we don’t consciously admit it). Social media provides that instant gratification, that hooks us like cocaine, and in most cases the fun outweighs the danger.”
“I think that I compare myself with others constantly, and social media is a great way for me to compare the highlights of other people’s lives to my every waking moment. If I see something that I missed out on, I’ll feel like I missed out. If I see people constantly going out and posting things on their Snapchat stories, I’ll feel sad if I’m staying in and not doing anything.”
“For the most part, social media platforms often seem to be split by gender: the girls performing with images and males consuming and critiquing. In high school, Instagram was most definitely a platform for girls to establish or (attempt to) increase their social standings.”
“Once I got an iPhone in 9th grade, I made an Instagram, which gave me my first taste into the competitiveness of social media. Having the most followers and the most likes per picture out of my friends became essential. I would allow random accounts to follow me so I could increase my follower count and learned the prime times to post to get the maximum number of likes. However, I learned that no matter how many followers I got or how many likes I had, I was never satisfied.”
“I think the LGBT community has a very unique relationship with social media/the internet. I don’t think I would be here today if it was not for social media. I grew up in a very religious community and had this very narrow and negative view of what it meant to be gay. Being able to see other openly gay people on social media that were successful was a huge reason as to why I was able to change my parent’s narrow perception they had of the LGBT community and my own perception. Additionally, Coming Out videos on Youtube were instrumental in giving me courage and making me feel like I was not alone in high school. Also, online video games were a place I could escape to and find a community. Also, people who are still in the closet have reached out to me in the past online. Social media has been an enclave for LGBT people to connect with one another and seek help or simply feel like they are not alone. It has also been an important place for much needed representation. I think one of the reasons we have seen such a dramatic shift in America’s acceptance for LGBT people is because of social media.”
And my personal favorite:
“I am living for this class. We touch on so many issues that I have spent too many hours contemplating and spending mental energy on.”
Class #12: Aggression and Violence, continued
What we read:
Columbine, by Dave Cullen
What students had to say:
“I am of the belief that gun violence in America is largely attributed to not only gun culture, but how we raise boys in America and our toxic definition of masculinity.”
“As a recent high school graduate, I have often thought about how much my world view has expanded upon leaving high school, and think back to my old self and reflect on how much I have changed (although in many ways I have not). Because of this, the introductions to Eric and Dylan’s characters stood out to me as characteristic thoughts of someone who has not been fully introduced to the adult world. These boys, namely Eric, were consumed by thoughts of prom dates, alcohol consumption, hanging out with friends, and social factors that centered around a high school world. It is a shame to me that they never had the opportunity to transcend this somewhat closed of world and experience what is outside of it. Maybe it could have prevented the horrible, horrible destruction they caused….”
“I especially found the part when the teacher heard noises, and saw Eric with a gun that she presumed to be a BB gun, and still believed that this was a joke, or nothing of serious implication. It is so easy to believe that such a horrifying event could never happen, and that people could never commit such atrocities. To discover that it is unfolding right in front of you is an awful realization. I’m not sure what I would have done in the same situation, and I’m unsure of how long it would have taken me to realize that this was not, in fact, a joke.”
“Harrowing. As I read, I felt guilty for enjoying the story. Was it the writing which kept me so engrossed, or the suspense of finding out what exactly happened and why? Or worse, I feared, was there a part of me that enjoys sadistic content? Is there a hard wiring in me which is just as intrigued as repulsed by murder? I’m sure this sentiment is shared by almost all readers. I found myself in constant introspection. I think I learned as much about my own thoughts as I did Eric and Dylan’s.”
“I kept trying to put myself in the shoes of the parents of the injured, the parents of the victims, the parents of the killers, the students themselves and the town as a whole and I couldn’t emotionally comprehend the complexity of it all… I also was very fixated on the parents of the killers and how they must have felt.”
“…When reading Columbine, I found myself mentally defending Dylan as a mental health patient who found solace in the wrong group of friends and perhaps could have been saved if introduced to psychology when he first exhibited symptoms of depression. On the other hand, I see a killer who selfishly took the lives of other humans, and then his own so he would not have to face the consequences. Committing murder in my mind is one of the single most unforgivable actions, yet I sympathized with Dylan.”
Class #11: Aggression and Violence
What we read:
- Moffitt, T. E. (1993). Adolescence-limited and life-course-persistent antisocial behavior: a developmental taxonomy. Psychological Review, 100, 674-701.
- Ellis, B. J., Del Giudice, M., Dishion, T. J., Figueredo, A. J., Gray, P., Griskevicius, V., … & Wilson, D. S. (2012). The evolutionary basis of risky adolescent behavior: implications for science, policy, and practice. Developmental Psychology, 48, 598.
- Kahn, J. (May 11, 2012). Can you call a 9-year-old a psychopath? New York Times Magazine.
What students had to say:
“To start off, I think this topic or discussion overall boils down to whether or not we try to correct adolescents behavior in a retributive or restorative way. For example, Ellis talks about how maladaptive behavior should not be viewed as a sign that the child is inherently problematic or acting irrationally. Instead, I think he is advocating that we need to start looking at the conditions that are prompting adolescents to act the way they do.”
“Additionally, the Ellis article also talked about using online video games as a separate social world so students can enter a different social space. I personally can relate to this. When I was in the closet, and I felt like I had to go to school and almost put on a façade for my peers and operate in a high stress environment on a daily basis, I found solitude in the virtual worlds of online video games, where it didn’t matter what your sexuality was, what you looked like, or even where you came from.”
“Having been bullied, I believe very strongly that it is a form of dominance exercised on those physically weaker than the aggressor. From this, I can confirm that much of the preconceived notions that there is something wrong with or that the aggressor is cognitively dysfunctional are incorrect. In my own experiences, the bully was fully aware of themselves, and acted out only social spaces, in the presence of others, to show off their dominance. Rather than coercive controllers, bullies tend to be bistrategic controllers.”
Class #10: Emotion
What we read:
- Riediger, M., Schmiedek, F., Wagner, G. G., & Lindenberger, U. (2009). Seeking pleasure and seeking pain: Differences in prohedonic and contra-hedonic motivation from adolescence to old age. Psychological Science, 20, 1529-1535.
- Skovlund, C. W., Mørch, L. S., Kessing, L. V., & Lidegaard, Ø. (2016). Association of hormonal contraception with depression. JAMA Psychiatry, 73, 1154-1162.
- Glowinski, A. L., & D’Amelio, G. (2016). Depression is a deadly growing threat to our youth: time to rally. Pediatrics, e20162869.
What students had to say:
“One of my favorite things to do is go hot tubbing. And the best places to go hot tubbing are the coldest. I was blessed with the opportunity to tub in Iceland over winter break, but even that wasn’t my best hot tubbing experience. One of the best times of my life was in Vail, Colorado, spring break senior year, with ample snowfall. Why was it the best tubbing time ever? Because my friends and I would get real toasty, then jump into a snowbank, feel the sting and adrenaline rush, then jump back into the boiling waters. Going from extreme hot to cold then back to hot is exhilarating. Anytime I tub, I’m jumping in and out of adjacent freezing pool. So what does hot tubbing have to do with adolescence? The love of extremes. In the same way I love jumping into fresh powder and then dunking my body into 104 degree water, it makes complete sense to me that teenagers prolong sadness, but then accompany that with a joyful experience. The fluctuation between two extremes is far more enjoyable than just a one sided experience…. I would imagine the tendency to prolong contra-hedonic experiences at younger ages has something to do with emotional discovery and literacy. You know when you get a new computer or car and you try out every single feature? My best guess is that adolescents are “trying out” all their new emotions from puberty, and somehow gain reward from exercising even sad emotions, even if there is no apparent reason to, kind of like using that new gadget just because it’s still a novelty. As one gets older, the shiny new appeal wears off, so adults no longer feel the need to experiment or just see what it’s like to be sad, so contra-hedonic behavior tapers off and pro-hedonic traits take over.”
“In my own life, I’ve had contra-hedonic motivations when I felt like I’d been wronged. In those cases, it made sense to remember a negative emotion or feeling as a way of teaching myself that it is okay to have other feelings or thoughts separate from authority figures, and also to begin creating long-lasting impressions of people.”
“Sometimes when I get into a conflict with someone, even if I have completely gotten over something, I might try to stay sad or angry in order to demonstrate how I feel. I want people to give me attention and show me that they care. I think there is a little of that in everyone, but especially during adolescence, this desire to stay sad, even when not, shines brighter.”
“I found the article about pediatricians having little training when it came to diagnosis and treatment of anxiety and depression extremely fascinating, alarming, but relatable. While I was going through anxiety and depression during adolescence, my parents and I tried to go to our pediatrician, and they were incredibly inexperienced and very unhelpful. I think that may be because depression and anxiety among adolescents is not seen as very common and maybe not taken as seriously.”
“When I was younger I suffered from severe anxiety and depression, as I feel many adolescents do. This depression started before I I remember feeling such extreme sadness that I can’t even fathom today, but I also (sickly) remember not wanting to come out of that sadness. It was almost a barrier, like if I consistently felt emotionally depressed, nothing could further negatively affect me. I think to maintain my goal of untouchability was emotionally beneficial for me to stay depressed. That way, my boyfriend cheating couldn’t affect me, my friendships dissolving wouldn’t break me, and my bad grades wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
